Monday, November 16, 2015

I hate shopping

There is a woman who helps me keep my sanity. She is the only reason I have clean clothes. She is the reason my shoes don't stick to the floor. She's my cleaning lady. She's also my babysitter and assistant homework engineer. She's been known to organize my pantry and my cleaning closet. Most times, I don't like to admit that I have her around. That is a hard thing for superwoman to do...but I guess every superhero needs an Albert, right Batman?
The thing about Alberts is that they get up close and personal. They wash your underwear for crying out loud. Today, she told me about something I didn't really closet.
Granted I've got all sizes in there from the awkwardly obese to the sexy stuff I fit in for one day back in 2003. I mean, I have to keep the range of clothes or I'd be walking around naked at least half my life, depending on what season of life I'm entertaining. But here's what she said; " I know that you're a good mom because your kids all have nice things, your husband has the best clothes, but could stand to toss some of your things because they've been there a while. You can tell you sacrifice for your family."
I'd never thought of that before. I do know that I will spend money on anybody else in my family 10x faster than I will myself. It helps that shopping to me is one of the most laborious tasks on the planet. Most days, I'd rather cut myself than go. It also helps that because of my varying shapes and sizes, I hate to invest too much in something I may never get to wear again for several years. I'm also coming off of the "I haven't bought new clothes in 2 years because I was as big as a house pregnant with twins and then not pregnant with twins...which looked even worse," time in my life.
Part of me is a little sad for myself as I look down at my pink shirt with little pill balls all over it topped with a moth hole somewhere around my equator. My pants are slightly too short and might have passed as crop pants in the summer with sandals, but right now, just look like I'm waiting for the waters to recede. I should mention that I'm missing a button also, but I couldn't wear my other brown pants because they are held up by a safety pin where the zipper broke. Luckily they are loose enough I don't have to unzip them to undress. Wow. How sad am I? My housekeeper is right wardrobe is a pitiful place.
Is this sadness the product of me being a good mom? I don't know. What I do know is that I will spend more money on a sushi dinner than on a pair of shoes. I have a price cap of $27.00 for jeans, $23.00 for a shirt and happy dress price is $40.00. What century am I in? I promise, if I could make clothing for cheaper, I would.
So, in that sense, I dress badly because I'm just a plain cheapskate.
Whatever the reason, I think superwoman is going to have to come up with some wardrobe changes.