Family

On a girl's weekend to Callaway Gardens for Mom's 60th birthday. Yes, I know, she doesn't look 60.

My sister, Sandra, who is currently pregnant with twins, Everly and Easton. 

Our decor

Where is Alex? I have no idea.

The most wonderful time of the year

I wish there were enough time in the day to blog about all the musings I have.  I don't have any less ideas.. Just less time.  Time has been my literal enemy this year.  It's going to be Christmas soon.  When did that happen? The boys are running now and saying new words like Uh oh (alex).  It's all happening way too fast.  I cannot keep up.  I feel like I've been in a race since thanksgiving.  When is too early to decorate? Do I have energy to decorate? Do I have enough power cords to even decorate!? Sigh.  It's important to me to try and give my kids life experiences that they will remember and remember fondly.  I want their lives to be filled with stories that start with,  "remember that time,  Mom.....". I've come to the realization that my kids will never have a favorite dish. I simply do not cook.  How could they?  But I will take my daughter to pick out her first live Christmas tree.  (and mine!) I will teach her the right way to screw in a screw with a drill and I will teach her that she needs to wait on no man for anything as we build mommy's new bed.  I will attempt to bake cookies.. Or at least spoon them well onto the pan with her to teach her about the importance of size and space.  I want her to remember laughing at me when I did something silly on accident.  I am stretched thin.  But I want to give them great memories of how much I loved them.  So I muster up enough gumption to sing Christmas songs on the hayride through the Christmas lights because I've never seen my daughter so involved in a song before tonight.  And we eat a smore.. Calories and all because she's never actually had one.  It will also mean that even though she has been a rotten stinker to her brothers for a good part of the year,  I will make sure Santa brings her the dollhouse with an elevator that she asked for  just to keep the magic alive a little bit longer .  Because once the magic is gone... You can never get it back.  I live to make the moments of my child's life special.  Even through the attitudes and obstinacy.  One day I will rest and put away my fairy dust.  The elf will no longer visit and the stocking will hold things like gift cards instead of toys.  But I'm not really looking forward to that day.  Actually it makes me very sad,  for I am reliving my magic through them...even though it has long since disappeared.  Through their tiny eyes and excited giggles I get to be 5 all over again. 

I hate shopping

There is a woman who helps me keep my sanity. She is the only reason I have clean clothes. She is the reason my shoes don't stick to the floor. She's my cleaning lady. She's also my babysitter and assistant homework engineer. She's been known to organize my pantry and my cleaning closet. Most times, I don't like to admit that I have her around. That is a hard thing for superwoman to do...but I guess every superhero needs an Albert, right Batman?
The thing about Alberts is that they get up close and personal. They wash your underwear for crying out loud. Today, she told me about something I didn't really realize...my closet.
Granted I've got all sizes in there from the awkwardly obese to the sexy stuff I fit in for one day back in 2003. I mean, I have to keep the range of clothes or I'd be walking around naked at least half my life, depending on what season of life I'm entertaining. But here's what she said; " I know that you're a good mom because your kids all have nice things, your husband has the best clothes, but you...you could stand to toss some of your things because they've been there a while. You can tell you sacrifice for your family."
Well.
I'd never thought of that before. I do know that I will spend money on anybody else in my family 10x faster than I will myself. It helps that shopping to me is one of the most laborious tasks on the planet. Most days, I'd rather cut myself than go. It also helps that because of my varying shapes and sizes, I hate to invest too much in something I may never get to wear again for several years. I'm also coming off of the "I haven't bought new clothes in 2 years because I was as big as a house pregnant with twins and then not pregnant with twins...which looked even worse," time in my life.
Part of me is a little sad for myself as I look down at my pink shirt with little pill balls all over it topped with a moth hole somewhere around my equator. My pants are slightly too short and might have passed as crop pants in the summer with sandals, but right now, just look like I'm waiting for the waters to recede. I should mention that I'm missing a button also, but I couldn't wear my other brown pants because they are held up by a safety pin where the zipper broke. Luckily they are loose enough I don't have to unzip them to undress. Wow. How sad am I? My housekeeper is right though...my wardrobe is a pitiful place.
Is this sadness the product of me being a good mom? I don't know. What I do know is that I will spend more money on a sushi dinner than on a pair of shoes. I have a price cap of $27.00 for jeans, $23.00 for a shirt and happy dress price is $40.00. What century am I in? I promise, if I could make clothing for cheaper, I would.
So, in that sense, I dress badly because I'm just a plain cheapskate.
Whatever the reason, I think superwoman is going to have to come up with some wardrobe changes.

Seven and sassy

We celebrated our girl turning seven with some Mexican food and a day at the fair.  Funtimes!

These boyz

15 months old
Will is walking
Alex is running
Will knows how to hug your neck.
Alex can go get his own shoes and socks. Will and Alex can both climb the stairs fast.... When you're not looking. 

Mystery Incorporated

We won the costume competition for the second year in a row at the Club.
We did well as "those meddling kids"  I think.  I love costumes. 

A year in the life

I realized something lately.  My daughter has grown.  Yes,  I know she is going to grow but I haven't kept up.  I will listen to her talk or watch her walk across the room and think to myself,  "who is that?" I am sad about that fact but today I had the revelation as to why.  I have been so wrapped up in surviving the boys for the past year,  I think I missed the evolution of my other baby into a girl.  It didn't help that time the boys were born she started real school.  Our days that used to be filled with mommy/daughter time were suddenly skimpy moments; a little in the morning,  a little in the afternoon,  and maybe a spot right before bed. To have my attention divided from one to three was probably devastating for her.  It's apparent in the acting out that she has done.  I have not handled it well either.  I've snapped when I shouldn't.  I've yelled way too loud.  I've spanked before talking.  I have been too stretched to always be the best mom to her. 
And today I looked across the room to see a girl where my baby used to be.. With opinions and beliefs and a will that just won't quit.. And I feel like I don't know her like I once did. This makes me sad.

My whole world

How blessed am I? These kids are my world.  I am so thankful to be their mom.
Addison turns 7 this month.  A fact she has been letting me know since the day after she turned 6.
Alex is so smart.  He really does understand and respond to most anything I say. Will is just sweetness incarnate.  He has learned to give hugs.  I am literally in heaven.  I wish I could freeze their innocence for a bit.. Their absolute love for me.  Addison is like talking to a grown woman sometimes.  She can amaze and anger me in the same split second.  A talent the child who is most like you has.  If I could only convey the fullness of my heart at this very minute....you wouldn't even be able to stand it. 

Porch sitting

I think sitting on the porch has gone by the wayside and I want to bring it back! Our new conversation set... And my beautiful daughter.

It's about time

My sweet William. Such a lover. Such a snuggler. Always smiling. He has an amazingly sweet spirit.
And he is finally trying to walk. Fourteen months old and I think he is trying to catch up to the gang. Everyone else is walking around and he's still on the ground.
My clever little Alex is so curious and adventurous that I get really worried about how to keep him safe. He falls so much and his poor head seems covered in bruises all the time from the floor, door jams, chairs, etc. He's really getting good at walking...until he's not. Today he decided to stand in the rocking chair. Why!? Just sit in the dang thing. He likes to stress me out..that sneaky little grin in tact.
These boys are such amazing little creatures. I love them so much.

William Speaks

I am here to say today that first grade math may be the death of us all.
I have never seen such drama...such DRAMA!!!! Good grief.

On a better note: William said his first intentional word this week. He waved and said "Bye. Bye". It is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. While Alex is a month or more ahead on the motor skills, William is seeming to pick up vocabulary much faster. The differences continue to amaze.

The drunk walking dead

What a title!
But that is exactly what Alex looks like when he walks. I joke that for Halloween, I'm going to dress him up in a zombie costume holding a bottle of beer. It'd be perfect. He's gotten pretty good at it...the walking. The gradual increase in his ability has been difficult to gauge. He has been toddling about for about a month now. It's resulted in many bruised foreheads, bloody noses and today, a busted lip. I am convinced that this child will keep us in the ER often.
As with the crawling development, Will is behind his brother on the dexterity scale. He is standing on his own but hasn't yet launched into full mobility. Grab his hand however, and he is an eager beaver ready to lead you around the house. He too climbed the stairs today for the first time. Not one of my favorite discoveries. I may need leashes. I've heard it's bad, chasing two babies in two different directions. We shall see.
Addison is pretty great at school. I think most of the time she kids about the answer while knowing the correct one the whole time. On her first progress report she got an "E". They don't give those out very often. It was in Language Arts. I'm guessing that has to do with the reading she's doing. She surprises me at every turn with all her new knowledge.
As for me and Michael. Work kicks our butts on a daily basis. I live for "one day" when life gets easier and the work load decreases and I can enjoy my life.

First grade here she comes!

12 month milestones

On July 31, 2015 the Metro Spirit did a story on Doctor Survy.  They interviewed me,  but little did I know my face would take up 3/4 of a page.  But hey, we made the papers! The article featured how my family came to be.  Pretty exciting stuff.

They are "one" derful!

What a great little party we had. It was circus themed. That's important because my house is a literal circus these days. We had peanuts and popcorn, cotton candy and clown noses. I made the boys their own shirts complete with sparkly bow ties. And they had a good time eating cake for the first time..Will moreso than Alex as seen in the pictures. In short, my boys are one and we have survived the first year of twin hood. It's actually getting harder I think because where sleep deprivation and constant helplessness has left off, mobility and clinginess have set in. It is not uncommon for people to see me out with the kids and come over to tell me I deserve a medal. The boys are more temperamental. They cry and that is a fact I live with every day. Others, however, probably don't have that same understanding or tolerance and I realize that. I try and not be that obnoxious mom who lets her children scream to the dismay of all around her. I'm also not that mom that is so particular that her children do it all correctly. I will pick up that fry off the floor and feed it to my child. I will feed everyone with the same spoon. I will take food out of one kid's mouth and give it to the other if he doesn't want it. It's just one big communal system at my house. I'm not really worried if your child wants to touch mine. I think it's cute. Stop apologizing. They probably aren't going to catch anything from them that they haven't already come across while writhing all over the floor during their crawl over there. Crawling has demonstrated to me exactly how disgusting my floors are, no matter how much I clean them. Of course, the babies are the cause of the dirty floors as well. When I walk through the house and find that sticky spot, I know there's been some kind of food spillage there. But it is slightly embarrassing when you pick up your son to find dirty little knees and toes. So being a mom of 3 now, I can confidently say, you do not need to bathe your child that often. I used to bathe Addison every single night, right before I rocked her to sleep. Twins do not come with such luxuries...at least not in this house. I am relieved to make it through the day, just to get everyone in bed and teeth brushed. I have been known to do the smell test on Addison's hair to see if we can go just one more day. Same with the boys, they get a Huggies wipe bath every day and if they seem a little stale, a good lather of Johnson's Baby Lotion does the trick to freshen them right up. Oh this sounds lazy..it's really not. It's called exhaustion.

The pediatrician told me at their 1 year visit to just keep reading them books and encouraging them to identify objects. It was then that I realized I have never in the whole year of their life, read them a book. It's good I'm not too bummed this go 'round about what makes a good mom and what doesn't, because that fact alone might have caused severe mommy hood doubts and feelings of inferiority. Instead, I realize that I too, am human. The fact that they didn't have story time is overshadowed by the fact that I spent time as the mommy mountain which the baby avalanche completely covered me earlier that morning. It might be that the silly dance to a captive crib audience that made the boys laugh uncontrollably trumped cracking a book. The fact that I ate 2 little boys' bellies and kissed them head to toe during one of their costume changes that day has got to count for something. Even if it's not a book.

Many people ask if I've gone back to work. I never left. When you own your own business, there isn't exactly a separation between work and home...it all just runs together. Kids go to the office with me, work comes home, errands to show apartments happen with screaming children in tow. I apologize and move on. It's the best I can do.

I'm sure I look like an idiot sometimes. For example, this past week I had an appointment with the Gynecologist. My usual sitter had to work late at her other job so I was stuck with 3 children...in a waiting room ...for two hours. It was hell. I'm not going to lie. I am sure those other patients were so ready for us to leave, but I did what I needed to keep those kids content. I pushed the stroller around the halls and through 2 waiting rooms no less than 27 times. I got on the floor and chased boys on my hands and knees in front of men women and children alike. I gave the boys balls and played fetch for them to pass the time. I did what I had to do, no matter how ridiculous I looked. I could feel the eyes, but I just didn't care. Even in the patient room, the boys ran freely as the doc did a pelvic exam. It is what it is. That's how you survive the first year of having twins. You do what you have to do.

Now, there are days when I am slap out of energy. There are days when I fill up the nursery floor with toys and shut the little gate and pray they play nice and no one gets hurt while I close my eyes for just 10 minutes. If I don't, I feel as if I'll surely die. But that's the cost of doing whatever it takes. The cost of making 2 trips up and down the stairs, 2 trips to load kids into the car, not including the luggage that is associated with them. The cost of lifting that freaking heavy double stroller in and out of the back every single time I want to go do anything. The cost of sweating my brains out while trying to strap that car seat in properly one more time.

Recently I had to stop to feed the boys. We were not where we needed to be, but it was lunch time and they were starving. I decided to pull into the mall parking lot. It was close, there was space - the rest I could deal with. So after pulling in, digging out all the equipment, maintaining the air conditioning and positioning myself outside the vehicle to feed one screaming child while the other one wailed while waiting on his turn, I see the mall cop watching me. Again, I could care less that I looked ridiculous half inside my car on a 100 degree day, just hanging in the parking lot of the mall, but he just sat there and I could feel the glare. Eventually, he  rolled on over to ask me mid-spoonful, "why is that chair sitting on the ground." (I had taken a bench that I'd been carrying around and put it on the ground so I could get to the food in the bag that was under it.)  I really wanted to use some curse words and ask him, what did it matter?!? But I didn't. I excused the fact that the mall cop could hear my screaming offspring and still dared to stop my feeding efforts to ask me an unnecessarily dumb question. I told him the truth...it was in my way. The moral of that tale is simply, I did not care one bit what he needed or what he was going to tell me to do when he came over, I was feeding my babies and whatever request he had would have to wait. Luckily, I didn't have to use my smart mouth and witty rhetoric to shame his rude interruption because he rolled on past after my answer, but I was ready and adamant on completing the mission.

Surviving this first year has toughened me up, given me confidence and forged heavy, deep mommy roots that will not let me be blown over. I kinda like that. 

The boy is still eating as we try to clean him up. 

NOM NOM....CAKE MONSTER!!