Thursday, December 24, 2015
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
I wish there were enough time in the day to blog about all the musings I have. I don't have any less ideas.. Just less time. Time has been my literal enemy this year. It's going to be Christmas soon. When did that happen? The boys are running now and saying new words like Uh oh (alex). It's all happening way too fast. I cannot keep up. I feel like I've been in a race since thanksgiving. When is too early to decorate? Do I have energy to decorate? Do I have enough power cords to even decorate!? Sigh. It's important to me to try and give my kids life experiences that they will remember and remember fondly. I want their lives to be filled with stories that start with, "remember that time, Mom.....". I've come to the realization that my kids will never have a favorite dish. I simply do not cook. How could they? But I will take my daughter to pick out her first live Christmas tree. (and mine!) I will teach her the right way to screw in a screw with a drill and I will teach her that she needs to wait on no man for anything as we build mommy's new bed. I will attempt to bake cookies.. Or at least spoon them well onto the pan with her to teach her about the importance of size and space. I want her to remember laughing at me when I did something silly on accident. I am stretched thin. But I want to give them great memories of how much I loved them. So I muster up enough gumption to sing Christmas songs on the hayride through the Christmas lights because I've never seen my daughter so involved in a song before tonight. And we eat a smore.. Calories and all because she's never actually had one. It will also mean that even though she has been a rotten stinker to her brothers for a good part of the year, I will make sure Santa brings her the dollhouse with an elevator that she asked for just to keep the magic alive a little bit longer . Because once the magic is gone... You can never get it back. I live to make the moments of my child's life special. Even through the attitudes and obstinacy. One day I will rest and put away my fairy dust. The elf will no longer visit and the stocking will hold things like gift cards instead of toys. But I'm not really looking forward to that day. Actually it makes me very sad, for I am reliving my magic through them...even though it has long since disappeared. Through their tiny eyes and excited giggles I get to be 5 all over again.
Monday, November 16, 2015
The thing about Alberts is that they get up close and personal. They wash your underwear for crying out loud. Today, she told me about something I didn't really realize...my closet.
Granted I've got all sizes in there from the awkwardly obese to the sexy stuff I fit in for one day back in 2003. I mean, I have to keep the range of clothes or I'd be walking around naked at least half my life, depending on what season of life I'm entertaining. But here's what she said; " I know that you're a good mom because your kids all have nice things, your husband has the best clothes, but you...you could stand to toss some of your things because they've been there a while. You can tell you sacrifice for your family."
I'd never thought of that before. I do know that I will spend money on anybody else in my family 10x faster than I will myself. It helps that shopping to me is one of the most laborious tasks on the planet. Most days, I'd rather cut myself than go. It also helps that because of my varying shapes and sizes, I hate to invest too much in something I may never get to wear again for several years. I'm also coming off of the "I haven't bought new clothes in 2 years because I was as big as a house pregnant with twins and then not pregnant with twins...which looked even worse," time in my life.
Part of me is a little sad for myself as I look down at my pink shirt with little pill balls all over it topped with a moth hole somewhere around my equator. My pants are slightly too short and might have passed as crop pants in the summer with sandals, but right now, just look like I'm waiting for the waters to recede. I should mention that I'm missing a button also, but I couldn't wear my other brown pants because they are held up by a safety pin where the zipper broke. Luckily they are loose enough I don't have to unzip them to undress. Wow. How sad am I? My housekeeper is right though...my wardrobe is a pitiful place.
Is this sadness the product of me being a good mom? I don't know. What I do know is that I will spend more money on a sushi dinner than on a pair of shoes. I have a price cap of $27.00 for jeans, $23.00 for a shirt and happy dress price is $40.00. What century am I in? I promise, if I could make clothing for cheaper, I would.
So, in that sense, I dress badly because I'm just a plain cheapskate.
Whatever the reason, I think superwoman is going to have to come up with some wardrobe changes.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
I realized something lately. My daughter has grown. Yes, I know she is going to grow but I haven't kept up. I will listen to her talk or watch her walk across the room and think to myself, "who is that?" I am sad about that fact but today I had the revelation as to why. I have been so wrapped up in surviving the boys for the past year, I think I missed the evolution of my other baby into a girl. It didn't help that time the boys were born she started real school. Our days that used to be filled with mommy/daughter time were suddenly skimpy moments; a little in the morning, a little in the afternoon, and maybe a spot right before bed. To have my attention divided from one to three was probably devastating for her. It's apparent in the acting out that she has done. I have not handled it well either. I've snapped when I shouldn't. I've yelled way too loud. I've spanked before talking. I have been too stretched to always be the best mom to her.
And today I looked across the room to see a girl where my baby used to be.. With opinions and beliefs and a will that just won't quit.. And I feel like I don't know her like I once did. This makes me sad.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Addison turns 7 this month. A fact she has been letting me know since the day after she turned 6.
Alex is so smart. He really does understand and respond to most anything I say. Will is just sweetness incarnate. He has learned to give hugs. I am literally in heaven. I wish I could freeze their innocence for a bit.. Their absolute love for me. Addison is like talking to a grown woman sometimes. She can amaze and anger me in the same split second. A talent the child who is most like you has. If I could only convey the fullness of my heart at this very minute....you wouldn't even be able to stand it.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
And he is finally trying to walk. Fourteen months old and I think he is trying to catch up to the gang. Everyone else is walking around and he's still on the ground.
My clever little Alex is so curious and adventurous that I get really worried about how to keep him safe. He falls so much and his poor head seems covered in bruises all the time from the floor, door jams, chairs, etc. He's really getting good at walking...until he's not. Today he decided to stand in the rocking chair. Why!? Just sit in the dang thing. He likes to stress me out..that sneaky little grin in tact.
These boys are such amazing little creatures. I love them so much.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
I have never seen such drama...such DRAMA!!!! Good grief.
On a better note: William said his first intentional word this week. He waved and said "Bye. Bye". It is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. While Alex is a month or more ahead on the motor skills, William is seeming to pick up vocabulary much faster. The differences continue to amaze.
Friday, September 4, 2015
But that is exactly what Alex looks like when he walks. I joke that for Halloween, I'm going to dress him up in a zombie costume holding a bottle of beer. It'd be perfect. He's gotten pretty good at it...the walking. The gradual increase in his ability has been difficult to gauge. He has been toddling about for about a month now. It's resulted in many bruised foreheads, bloody noses and today, a busted lip. I am convinced that this child will keep us in the ER often.
As with the crawling development, Will is behind his brother on the dexterity scale. He is standing on his own but hasn't yet launched into full mobility. Grab his hand however, and he is an eager beaver ready to lead you around the house. He too climbed the stairs today for the first time. Not one of my favorite discoveries. I may need leashes. I've heard it's bad, chasing two babies in two different directions. We shall see.
Addison is pretty great at school. I think most of the time she kids about the answer while knowing the correct one the whole time. On her first progress report she got an "E". They don't give those out very often. It was in Language Arts. I'm guessing that has to do with the reading she's doing. She surprises me at every turn with all her new knowledge.
As for me and Michael. Work kicks our butts on a daily basis. I live for "one day" when life gets easier and the work load decreases and I can enjoy my life.