Tuesday, May 3, 2016

The great campaign of 2016

Where have I been?
I've been here, buried under mounds of work and responsibility since Michael decided to make a run for district 1 commissioner. This game is not for the faint of heart. I watch the national political campaigns and can only react with severe sympathy no matter who the candidate. The seat Michael is running for is local government. However this entire process has given me great insight into the inner workings of the American voter and the backward processes that every candidate must go through.
Knocking on doors is a personal favorite of mine. Everyone needs to knock on a door at some point in their life. Older people don't mind your visit; that was the way it was done back in the day. Younger people are scared to open the door. I'm convinced it's because of their insane amount of time being plugged in all the time to TV, phones, computers, video games, etc. Real people are scary!
First of all you have to realize that you are deemed the enemy right off. "What are you selling?  Did you see my 'no soliciting' sign?"
I smile..a lot. I probably am not as intimidating as a man..hey, there's at least one perk to being a woman.
Next you have to blurt out the reason you are there and try and get their attention just enough to have some actual interest.
Some people just accept the literature and close the door as quickly as possible. Others put you on the spot, as if you're the candidate. I have to push away the urge to say, "Can you just go to the website and leave me alone?" It's usually 99 degrees out there and I've already walked 5 miles.
If you can find someone who, out of the goodness of their heart, has stopped to actually retain what you say, you have a chance. However, one of the most amusing facts that I've learned during my neighborhood walks is that people base their votes on the most frivolous things. One woman told me that she would vote for us because we were from South Augusta, where she lived. Many said that we were the first to knock on their door so they would vote for Michael. They seriously think someone should visit them personally. Just a heads up, there are over 16000 voters in our district alone. That's a lot of doors.
My favorite was a little old lady who, through a sneaky little grin, told Michael that she'd vote for him...because he was handsome.
In short, most voters are petty. I myself have gone to the polls on more than one occasion knowing nothing at all of the candidates.  I am ashamed to say that before this election, I had never been to a political forum to hear the candidates talk. I have even cast my vote based on which name I liked more. It's really sad that such a great privilege is squandered by so many, including my past self. But no more. I know the ins and outs, the sacrifice of time, money and energy that it takes to do anything political. It's a shame that it took running a campaign to earn that appreciation.
I must give a final shout out during this post to my all time most memorable citizen. I knocked on one door and out came a 200lb rottweiler...who proceeded to jump up on me. To say I nearly wet my pants is an understatement.  Luckily that dog was just as sweet as she was big. THANK GOD!

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

24 + 35= living room brawl

I wish you could see me. I'm exhausted. Flayed over my recliner. Sipping milk from one of the boys sippy cups. They left it in the floor and I was thirsty.  My brain literally hurts.
Who knew first grade homework would be such a horrid experience.
Common Core math is a beast in and of itself. The simplistic way of adding and subtracting has gotten all mucked up. I'm guessing each way needs it's day in the sun; not all humans think alike. But I am damn near 40 having to relearn basic math just so I can help my daughter with her homework.
That's not the worst part. The "horrid" part is probably just my daughter. It can't possibly be all 7 year olds. My daughter argues every fact that I tell her.
"Addison, your face is dirty, can you please go wash it?"
"No its not."
"Yes it is. I'm looking at you.
"No its not."
The same scenario applies to homework.
"Addison, youre supposed to write it like this."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are...read the instructions. See, right here"
At this point I start to lose my cool and start trying to reason with this small human who suddenly thinks she knows everything. Unfortunately, this reasoning usually ends with fire flying out of the top of my head as I throw her homework paper across the room. I really wish I were joking.
Her obstinance grows with every math problem. I'll tell her what to write and where to write it and she writes it sideways and nothing at all like what I said.  A 15 minute worksheet has now become nearly 2 hours of a battle of wills and ultimately brawn. I'm bigger..I win. If you can call it winning.
We seem to have to continue this process in its entirety before my daughter can come full circle and realize that I'm not an idiot..that I may be telling her the truth and she can  trust me.
But God help me if I don't want to kill her in the process. I pray that we will get past this stage quickly. Because if we don't...and this just keeps getting worse..the child will not live to see 13.
It's past time for bed. I think I'll add some Bailey's to this sippy cup. Goodnight.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016


...For office that is. Michael has begun a race to try and win the commissioner seat for our district. Although I told him I could not do anymore than I already am....I feel as if I'm the campaign manager, communications director and minion all on one. Today we got our website up and running. Let me rephrase that...I got it up and running. I support my husband so much that I cannot let the deficiencies of the campaign keep him from being his best. Therefore I work like a dog to make sure everything is right. Buying signs, banners, business cards, opening accounts, filling out paperwork, building a website, writing press releases, building flyers, etc...etc...etc. I didn't leave my desk today except to pee. It is a little refreshing to have all of those PR skills dusted off that I learned in college. It's probably why I can't let all these duties go by the wayside. We shall see . So far it's a fun exhaustion. I'm pretty sure it will not stay that way. But one can hope.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

These guys are a hoot

This is our morning routine.. To scoot down the stairs.  The boys are too heavy and wiggly to carry them both at the same time anymore.  This morning however,  Alex was rather cheesy. They really do crack me up.