Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Games we play

Games that prepare you for motherhood. MEMORY: this morning I found one shoe in the living room and had to think really hard to remember that I had seen its match upstairs in the bathroom.

GUESSTURES: when you have 2 toddlers that don't really speak well its a crapshoot as to what they are trying to tell you.  There's a lot of pointing on their end and guessing on mine.

Beanboozled: Maybe you've seen this game..maybe not. It's  full of jelly beans that can either taste like something yummy or something hideous like toothpaste or earwax.  This is what meals with toddlers compares to. I may think its good but one bite of something that's not a chicken nugget or french fry is immediately rejected and thrown in the floor..as if they just gotten the earwax jelly bean.

I spy:
Toddlers also play this game regarding anything green. I spy a microscopic piece of spinach on that noodle...nope..not going in my boys' mouth.

Where's waldo:
These short humans can get lost so easily by merely being little in stature. I suggest one actually dress their kids like Waldo with the red and white stripes in order to make finding them in a crowd an easier task. Better yet,  I just bought some neon yellow and orange polo shirts. I want them to stick out like the utilty workers.

20 questions:
This game applies mainly to my eldest.....who for whatever reason cannot formulate a sentence under pressure: "Why are you crying? Are you hurt? Are you sick? What did your brother do? How long have you been on the floor? What happened to your shoes?"

Oh wait...I can solve this..upstairs in the bathroom ;)

Sunday, April 23, 2017

These are the days to remember

 Alex is a singing sensation. He is really so good at mimicking words. We have a CD from his MDO that we sing to every night. He loves that. They both sit in my lap and do the hand motions and sing. Such a precious time and I know it now. I look at Addison who is 8. I can't remember her the last 3 years. I feel like she was 5 just yesterday. I'm sure it had to do with being pregnant and birthing twins, but I am terrified now that I'm not going to remeber these precious moments with the boys either.  I may have early dementia.  Maybe there's a good explanation...but it doesn't change the fact that I turned around and my little girl is a big girl. I feel like I'm clawing out of a pit with mud walls..trying to hold onto my moments..their moments. If I don't remember this stuff..no one else will. 
That's why my blog is so important. I need to remember that 2nd grade was so very difficult for Addison and that she was angry a lot. The school called me twice concerning her hitting people. I need to also remember that even though we had to put her on restriction for a week, we took just her with us to the condo. We talked with her and walked with her and gave her our undivided attention. She had to listen to a lot of lessons and do's and dont's but I'm hoping she felt and heard us every time we told her we loved her. 

I also need to admit that times like this I feel like a failure as a parent. When my son beats his brother in the head and laughs...I wonder what I did wrong. Don't try and tell me I haven't  failed in many arenas,  because I have. There is not enough time in the day to do what I need to do and hold my babies as much as they need.  I'm afraid they feel forgotten at different times and I am so sorry in the end. 
My struggle inside is sickening as I try and choose what's important each day. Or when I am too damn tired to even care. 
These days are few and fleeting and tonight all I feel is the loss of what I can't keep in my head. What I'm forgetting. What I've missed. What I chose instead. 
I am struggling with feeling ugly and being overweight. Forty has hit in full force and my metabolism just stopped. I never feel uglier than I do at the beach. I need to take care of myself but I can't seem to justify it or the time it will take away from my kids. I think many moms probably feel this especially with babies or toddlers. You just can't go and do. Overwhelmed by the passage of time tonight, I'm just defeated as to how to fit it all in this life and not let one moment get lost. 

Monday, January 23, 2017

Post Holiday Dribble

You can tell that the holidays have hit. Neglectful to my baby blog.
So here's some updates on my life.
Being 40 sucks in that the evolution of my body since hitting that age seems to be nothing short of a downward spiral. And when I say downward spiral I'm referring mostly to my boobs. Luckily one doesnt lose their winning personality so quickly so I  live on able to joke about my impending disfigurement. I'm pretty sure if I were king of the world tummy tucks and boob jobs would be included on every insurance plan after 40....for the preservation of mental health. I'm sure there's a precedent to be made there...somehow.
Anyways..Christmas.
What fun was that? Seriously, the best Christmas we've had here in Thurman Manor. Since we are coming put of the baby stage, I can truly confess that many times lately I've thought..twins are great. They always keep each other occupied which is NICE. They learn sharing naturally..or I learn the art of dispersing disputes.  We've recently had to eliminate all wooden puzzles from our lives for fear of toddler concussions.
My dear little William. He has a temper. My naturally snuggly and loving child can flip on a dime to be the demon possessed tiny Godzilla wreaking havoc on all toys and siblings and plates of food in his way. Maybe its the hair...he has a ton of hair..maybe that's what makes him so "passionate" about things. That and the fact he is his sister's literal twin. Those two coined being moody. Addison is 8 and on more than one occasion I've  found her crying in her room, multiples times in one day, for no reason at all. You are 8! This crap shouldn't start until puberty! She's a drama queen too.  Ugh..the teen years we shall have.
At least she's not in the "no" stage. That is William's answer for everything.  everything.  Everything.
Good thing hes so cute.
Now I don't have a favorite kid. I don't. I love them all so much it hurts. But if you as a parent say that you don't like or prefer one kid over another at some time, you're a liar.
Presently Alex is my little angel. He is the least selfish of the bunch. He is kind and shares often. He is the premiere talker..or mocker these days and even though neither of my boys have found it useful to actually speak English yet, he at least tries. In fact, I was recently in the bathroom and I hear what sounds like "mommyyyyyy, where are you?" If was more like "mommmyyyy ere ah oooo?" But I got it. I felt like I cracked the Davinci code or something...I understood what he was saying!!
So happy that we are finally getting there. We are behind all the singletons in our class in the verbal skills...but I Think that's normal for twins.
Alex is a doer...he's a Republican. If he wants something he will find a way to climb and get it and bring it to you. Sometimes that part is very impressive. Sometimes..its scary. 
My other two are clearly democrats who will stand in the middle of the room whining until something is done for them.  I know, I know...stepping on some toes with those analogies but I see what i see.
That pioneer spirit...that's my favorite thing about Alex currently. And he's got an amazing smile.
Christmas, like i said, was amazing. This was Addison's biggest belief year yet. Magic happened at our house and it was so cool to watch her see it. Kids make Christmas. Period.

Saturday, October 1, 2016

There's this girl

There's this girl named Mandy. She's pretty special.  She is the first close girlfriend I've had in a very very long time. She's the kind of friend where there are no holds barred. I don't have to hold back or act good. I don't have to pretend to like something just to have common ground. We can talk for an hour every night of the week and she'll have me laughing histerically in a matter of minutes. She's 10 years my junior and I've even been called her mother before by strangers...but we connect in a way I didn't think was possible anymore. She was there the day my boys came into this world...recording the whole thing. And she puts up with my crazy family just to come and visit. She even does laundry. There is no better friend than one that will wash your dirty underwear.

My bunch of nuts