Monday, November 13, 2017

Halloween 2017

So many Halloween costumes this year:
The Harvest Witch: 
Addison won first place for this costume at her school this year!

Our Family costume this year was the cast of Harry Potter:
Harry, Ron, Hermoine, Dumbledore and Prof. McGonigal
THE CUTEST Harry Potter I have ever seen!!!!!!!
Even Alex had red hair to play his part.



Of Course, we had to have another costume for school. 
Tony Stark

Spiderman
The most amusing thing is that after all the costuming and planning, Halloween turned into a hodge podge of costumes. The Harvest Witch, Harry Potter ...and the UPS man. We are nothing if not eclectic. 

Will -I-Am

If there ever was a toddler heart throb, William is it. Its no exaggeration that he tells me 30 times a day that he loves me. He tells others as well, but mommy is the queen of being loved. I'm just fine with that. He is a lover of animals and the best "smiler" of all time. A smile that will melt you and cause an entire room to "Awww" in unison. Those baby blues and pale complexion paired with a dashing head full of dark hair. It's the perfect recipe for a heart throb. I actually can't think of many things better than little arms hugging my neck. He is as affectionate as I use to be before I realized the world was cold, cruel and selfish. I worry about his little broken heart one day and the mean girls who will try and take advantage of him. 
William's accomplishments come at a slower pace than his brother. He can imitate speech, but he has a hard time coming up with it on his own, except for the phrase, "I love you." Along with delayed speech is delayed understanding and yes, potty training. Because of the rule that you have to be potty trained for the 3k class at school, William, just last Thursday, got kicked out of school. Now this is the the same school that he has attended since he was 3 months old. The same school that his sister went to for her entire babyhood as well. This school, with a new director, told me my baby was a health hazard. 
To say I have never felt the rage that I felt when told that is an understatement. Penetrating rage that can only be compared to the basic animalistic instinct to protect your young. As I am trying my hardest to not lose my cool and understand that rules must be followed, I want so much to have some sort of justice for my sweet boy. My little guy who just loves all the time. My baby who is still a baby just a little longer than others and he can't help it. He's been ostracized from even his Thanksgiving program and for that I'm livid. Does he notice? Doubtful. Will he enjoy being the center of attention each morning? Probably. However, I send my children to school because I'm not a teacher. I send my children so they can learn to socialize and experience songs and games I'd never think of by people who specialize in that. It's about opportunity to learn. An opportunity that has been taken from him because he poops sometimes between 9 a.m and 1 p.m. once a week.

My little guy will learn what he needs to in his time. Until then, I count it as a few more months that I have to snuggle with the best snuggler around. To laugh with the best giggler with a laugh so genuine that he is the ringtone on my phone. He makes me happy...so very happy. 

Alexander the great

I am enamored with the development of a toddler's personality. To see how their tendencies are already forming at such a young age is truly magnificent to witness. Alex is full of personality. He goes out of his way to be funny and make me laugh. He is also our family tattle-tail that keeps tabs on everybody and their moods so that I never have to doubt when someone is crying because Alex will come and get me and tell me. He's also the inquisitive one always asking where people are and wanting to know if he can do certain things looking for approval. His personality gets strong-willed sometimes but that's to be expected with Michael as his father I think. He's every bit of a three-year-old boy. I guess being a twin makes it a little less important to communicate and therefore he and William have gotten by on their own little version of their language for a while. Switching over to English has proved a little bit challenging. But out of the two Alex is the most vocal and tries more words more than William. He is such an adventurer and is the first one to get on a roller coaster for the first time or climb something that seems daunting to anybody else. His little light of a personality will drag you in and before you know it you're completely in love with this blonde-headed, hazel-eyed boy. I'm not sure if it's the fact that he's one whole minute older than William or if he's just born to lead but he seems to not have any issue whatsoever taking charge and getting the both of them in all kinds of trouble. I think my favorite thing of late has been the phrases that he picks up that I say or someone else says. For instance overheard on the nanny cam the other day when was Alex telling William, "Are you kidding me?" I'm afraid that's my phrase and I probably say it a lot so it's no wonder they don't all three say that. Still it's super cute when the three-year-old says it. Alex is going to be my sports player. He's good with a ball whether he's throwing or kicking and I foresee many many Little League games in my future. He's also somewhat of a pouter though if he doesn't get his way. He'll run off into a corner and hang his head and look at you out of the tops of his eyes.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Little A

I think being a parent is a series of waiting for your children's light switches. No, not the kind of light switch on the wall. I'm talking about the ones that turn on the lights in their head so that they actually "get it." Addison has been particularly slow with her switches and there are sometimes I find myself just wishing and wishing that she would pay attention to the world around her or express some kind of compassion for someone else or care about somebody else's happiness before her own. I'm very sure that it's a stage of just growing because I know that children are innately selfish people but I am so happy to report that my daughter has finally flipped some switches. There have been days when I as a mother have reached my very end. It could be due to the fact that all three kids would fight and cry or it could be that work and marriage was too much. However this little girl has really started to shine through and has on more than one occasion told me, "Momma I want to take care of you. Don't worry I'll take care of the boys." And she has done just that. Second grade was a struggle. It was a struggle for her academically and socially and it was a struggle for me as a parent to try and try and help her understand basic ways and basic truths. Third grade seems to be a much easier time in her life. She went to camp this summer and really survived well on her own and in strange situations. This year she loves her teachers dearly and plays soccer.  She has voiced an interest in joining the handbell choir at church. To see her being vested in something is really beyond gratifying. So, this post is dedicated to all the kids who have flipped their switch lately and realize that the world's not all about them. But mostly to Addison who I can see is growing up and doing a good job of it.

Friday, August 11, 2017

I have a problem

I admit it. This week I was anxious and stressed and not for any particular reason. There was one thing that calmed me down and I indulged to the fullest. Every minute I sat there and took it in was a moment of escape and pure emotional relaxation. I binge watched The Twilight Saga.
I have an incredibly sucky memory. I'm not sure if its just full...if I'm not purging the right files....or if I'm just logging everything in under the wrong search words, but I cannot remember a lot. With that being said, watching the entire series of movies was almost as good as seeing them for the first time. Except this time, I didn't have to wait a year in between movies. I could follow the storyline, see the nuances, feel the emotions from film to film. I remember reading the books and not being able to put them down, reading well into the morning some weekends. However, for as bad an actress as I think Kristen Stewart is in general, she found her groove by the second movie. They all did. And then it was really dramatic and emotional magic for me. I dove in with all of my being and dug my claws in every moment of angst, every "I love you," every outburst of rage. I cried. A lot. Of course, I may have already been there due to the anxiety, but I felt all the feels the movies could offer.
I am a grown woman, I understand that. I know that at 41 I shouldn't be so simple as to revel in movies that were based on a book I found in the teen section of the library. But it is my secret, simple, guilty pleasure.
I don't think I feel all the feels in real life. Not the ones that make you feel like you can't breathe without another human. The ones that would cause me to fling myself off of cliffs. I'm not that dramatic first of all and secondly, life is too harsh. I spend too much time worrying if I spent enough quality time with my kids aside from work and obligations. Does my husband need attention? I haven't called my best friend in two days much less my own sister! I would love to make friends with this woman, but my children won't be quiet enough so that I can even carry a conversation. So I sit there, longing for friendship, but captive by my limited schedule, limited general availability, limited time to do so.
There are thousands of thoughts that ping through a woman's head all day long. And it includes the whole gambit; work, home, kids, relationships, health, vacations, appointments, obligations,......!!!! The pinging is real and it will wear you down. Wear you frail until you are the mom who is at the pool with your kids in order to provide the appropriate amount of fun in their lives, who will go out to eat with your husband once again because that's his hobby, who while at the pool is answering emails and texts both business and personal, one after another. You're the woman who put on so many hats in one day that you can't remember who you really are anymore, much less have time to explore it anymore. That's the lonely woman who indulges in her secret pleasures of sitting square in the middle of the king bed with 17 pillows and a box of tissues, ready to collapse into a world of teenage love wrought with vampires and wolves.
And I'm ok with that.
Until I have time to find myself again, I'll settle for watching impossible situations in fairy tale movies, late at night after the kids are asleep, in secret. Shhhhhhhh.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Twins everywhere

Sandra and Chad and their twins had their first swimming experience this summer. Love my babies!!!!! Miss them when I can't see them. Living 4 hours away really stinks.