Monday, November 16, 2015
The thing about Alberts is that they get up close and personal. They wash your underwear for crying out loud. Today, she told me about something I didn't really realize...my closet.
Granted I've got all sizes in there from the awkwardly obese to the sexy stuff I fit in for one day back in 2003. I mean, I have to keep the range of clothes or I'd be walking around naked at least half my life, depending on what season of life I'm entertaining. But here's what she said; " I know that you're a good mom because your kids all have nice things, your husband has the best clothes, but you...you could stand to toss some of your things because they've been there a while. You can tell you sacrifice for your family."
I'd never thought of that before. I do know that I will spend money on anybody else in my family 10x faster than I will myself. It helps that shopping to me is one of the most laborious tasks on the planet. Most days, I'd rather cut myself than go. It also helps that because of my varying shapes and sizes, I hate to invest too much in something I may never get to wear again for several years. I'm also coming off of the "I haven't bought new clothes in 2 years because I was as big as a house pregnant with twins and then not pregnant with twins...which looked even worse," time in my life.
Part of me is a little sad for myself as I look down at my pink shirt with little pill balls all over it topped with a moth hole somewhere around my equator. My pants are slightly too short and might have passed as crop pants in the summer with sandals, but right now, just look like I'm waiting for the waters to recede. I should mention that I'm missing a button also, but I couldn't wear my other brown pants because they are held up by a safety pin where the zipper broke. Luckily they are loose enough I don't have to unzip them to undress. Wow. How sad am I? My housekeeper is right though...my wardrobe is a pitiful place.
Is this sadness the product of me being a good mom? I don't know. What I do know is that I will spend more money on a sushi dinner than on a pair of shoes. I have a price cap of $27.00 for jeans, $23.00 for a shirt and happy dress price is $40.00. What century am I in? I promise, if I could make clothing for cheaper, I would.
So, in that sense, I dress badly because I'm just a plain cheapskate.
Whatever the reason, I think superwoman is going to have to come up with some wardrobe changes.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
I realized something lately. My daughter has grown. Yes, I know she is going to grow but I haven't kept up. I will listen to her talk or watch her walk across the room and think to myself, "who is that?" I am sad about that fact but today I had the revelation as to why. I have been so wrapped up in surviving the boys for the past year, I think I missed the evolution of my other baby into a girl. It didn't help that time the boys were born she started real school. Our days that used to be filled with mommy/daughter time were suddenly skimpy moments; a little in the morning, a little in the afternoon, and maybe a spot right before bed. To have my attention divided from one to three was probably devastating for her. It's apparent in the acting out that she has done. I have not handled it well either. I've snapped when I shouldn't. I've yelled way too loud. I've spanked before talking. I have been too stretched to always be the best mom to her.
And today I looked across the room to see a girl where my baby used to be.. With opinions and beliefs and a will that just won't quit.. And I feel like I don't know her like I once did. This makes me sad.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Addison turns 7 this month. A fact she has been letting me know since the day after she turned 6.
Alex is so smart. He really does understand and respond to most anything I say. Will is just sweetness incarnate. He has learned to give hugs. I am literally in heaven. I wish I could freeze their innocence for a bit.. Their absolute love for me. Addison is like talking to a grown woman sometimes. She can amaze and anger me in the same split second. A talent the child who is most like you has. If I could only convey the fullness of my heart at this very minute....you wouldn't even be able to stand it.