Monday, June 30, 2014

Pre baby blues

"34 weeks..49 inches around . Way too many people asking me how I feel... If I'm ready for twins... I can't be angry although I want to.  It's not their fault.  They don't know... They aren't carrying 2 humans.  I am so miserable and more often than not.  I lose it.  I lose all composure and I bawl my eyes out.  I cannot turn over in the bed without pain and if I lay in one side too long my ribs feel like they're gonna break. But I can't lay on my back... Or I'll literally pass out.  I am so uncomfortable I almost can't stand it.  I am torn between wanting the babies to stay in to be healthy and wishing them out so I can be out of this condition. I cannot breathe... I cannot walk to the car.  I am so fatigued I literally would lie on the sidewalk if I had to.  This is the side of pregnancy they don't talk about.. The dark side... The alone side.  Because you are the only one that can and will experience it.  It is your curse and your blessing... And yet it is only just beginning.  After they are born,  I will be responsible for them and their care and their nourishment even before I am naturally able to recover properly from surgery. This is not pretty and you can tell I am in a low place tonight where there are no roses.  I want to get up and be able to walk downstairs for a glass of water without resting at the couch on the way. "

That was the other night. I wrote it and I left it. I'm better today. My daughter is at the beach with her grandma and papa so it's mine and Michael's Babymoon. Our last hurrah before the boys get here. Its nice and weird being alone....having half the responsibility as usual. Dinner was sandwiches. Last night we stayed out until nearly 11 p.m. to see a movie. Just different...odd...foreign. You get used to the confinement of children and the rules, the bedtimes, the restrictions. The only holdback this time is this enormous belly I'm carrying around. It's like it's own planet!
I can clearly feel which child is doing what these days. I've almost determined what name I want each to have based on their activity. They are already quite different in their behavior. One of them is gonna be a mess! Right after his daddy.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

This old house

We're finally getting paint!!!!! Although I would never want to be the one to brave this maze of ladders. 

32 weeks

These are the first time I've been able to lay eyes on my precious boys' faces. Seven months of wondering if they even had eyes and noses. It was worth every penny to get these tiny visages.

 Baby A - I think he has the cutest little perfect nose just like his sister did when she was born. We saw him blink and yawn during the sonogram. There's real life inside me!!!
 Baby B - These two pictures were the best we could get of baby B. He's a hider. He had his arm in front of his face most of the hour. He was also hiding behind his umbilical cord and faced my spine. We worked hard to get these profile pictures...even going so far as to irritate him with this vibrating buzzer thing. He's all curled up in a ball in the second picture. We saw knee and all.
 Luckily , we did get to verify that they are both still boys.
 These were made at a surprise baby shower that my friend Rachel threw for me....Monkey Cupcakes!! They were fantastic. And I cried my eyes out I was so surprised.

 The biggest diaper cake I'd ever seen. I hate to take it apart!

The best full length mirror I can find is located at the courthouse. So amusingly, when I go to file an eviction, I also go into the bathroom for a pregnant selfie. I think I look better than ever except for the big, huge, ginormous belly. :)

2014 Kiawah with Grandparents

Little Friends

Addison with Margaret and Ben. She's leaving her Pre-K friends, and heading to the new world of Kindergarten. My beautiful baby is really growing. She's funny and silly. She's tall and sometimes lanky. She is loving beyond words. Each morning she comes into my room to kiss my tummy and ask how those babies are doing. She is helpful and follows instruction so much more than she ever did before. She is the little girl I always dreamed of..she is my best friend.

Lost tooth part 2

Should I add that it took 2 hours of coaxing to get little miss to let daddy tie a piece of dental floss around the dangling, barely holding on tooth to pull it out?

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

On a day like today

Its only God's perfect and wonderful plan that on a day like today...7 1/2 months pregnant, just in from a morning of fighting with my 5 year old over what to wear, from having an irate employee totally make me want to lose my cool, after waking up for the third morning with painters that sound like huge squirrels scraping my house, that I met Angie.
This angel works at the Krystal on Bobby Jones and literally sang good morning to me as I rushed through the drive-thru to grab some kind of hearty breakfast for me and my two bundles. I thought she was a recording. It couldn't be that she was real because no one should be so happy on a day like today. But she was real and smiling and energetically waving at me as I pulled to the window. I will think of her all day because she was a light...a bright spot...a saving grace to my morning. She was wonderful. Best $4.95 I've ever spent for breakfast because it came with a side of happiness from Angie.