A year in the life

I realized something lately.  My daughter has grown.  Yes,  I know she is going to grow but I haven't kept up.  I will listen to her talk or watch her walk across the room and think to myself,  "who is that?" I am sad about that fact but today I had the revelation as to why.  I have been so wrapped up in surviving the boys for the past year,  I think I missed the evolution of my other baby into a girl.  It didn't help that time the boys were born she started real school.  Our days that used to be filled with mommy/daughter time were suddenly skimpy moments; a little in the morning,  a little in the afternoon,  and maybe a spot right before bed. To have my attention divided from one to three was probably devastating for her.  It's apparent in the acting out that she has done.  I have not handled it well either.  I've snapped when I shouldn't.  I've yelled way too loud.  I've spanked before talking.  I have been too stretched to always be the best mom to her. 
And today I looked across the room to see a girl where my baby used to be.. With opinions and beliefs and a will that just won't quit.. And I feel like I don't know her like I once did. This makes me sad.