I wish there were enough time in the day to blog about all the musings I have. I don't have any less ideas.. Just less time. Time has been my literal enemy this year. It's going to be Christmas soon. When did that happen? The boys are running now and saying new words like Uh oh (alex). It's all happening way too fast. I cannot keep up. I feel like I've been in a race since thanksgiving. When is too early to decorate? Do I have energy to decorate? Do I have enough power cords to even decorate!? Sigh. It's important to me to try and give my kids life experiences that they will remember and remember fondly. I want their lives to be filled with stories that start with, "remember that time, Mom.....". I've come to the realization that my kids will never have a favorite dish. I simply do not cook. How could they? But I will take my daughter to pick out her first live Christmas tree. (and mine!) I will teach her the right way to screw in a screw with a drill and I will teach her that she needs to wait on no man for anything as we build mommy's new bed. I will attempt to bake cookies.. Or at least spoon them well onto the pan with her to teach her about the importance of size and space. I want her to remember laughing at me when I did something silly on accident. I am stretched thin. But I want to give them great memories of how much I loved them. So I muster up enough gumption to sing Christmas songs on the hayride through the Christmas lights because I've never seen my daughter so involved in a song before tonight. And we eat a smore.. Calories and all because she's never actually had one. It will also mean that even though she has been a rotten stinker to her brothers for a good part of the year, I will make sure Santa brings her the dollhouse with an elevator that she asked for just to keep the magic alive a little bit longer . Because once the magic is gone... You can never get it back. I live to make the moments of my child's life special. Even through the attitudes and obstinacy. One day I will rest and put away my fairy dust. The elf will no longer visit and the stocking will hold things like gift cards instead of toys. But I'm not really looking forward to that day. Actually it makes me very sad, for I am reliving my magic through them...even though it has long since disappeared. Through their tiny eyes and excited giggles I get to be 5 all over again.
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