A State of Mourning

My heart is heavy this morning after hearing about 2 college friends who unexpectedly lost their 2 1/2 year old last night. As I heard about the mother refusing to let the hospital take her son away...I thought back to another college friend who lost her 9 year old a little over two months ago. There is always "the next day" - was there sleep at all for the parents? Was there the harsh realization once again of the events of the previous night? Will they relive every morning the realization that their baby is dead. A sentence worse than death...to be a survivor, one left behind. To say that I feel their pain is only a faint hint of what they are truly experiencing. I am angry that things like this happen. I hate the parts of life that just don't make sense..that are unreasonable. And it seems these days that unreasonable events are happening in record numbers. I've seen the gruesome television footage of the protester in Iran who was shot during a peaceful demonstration and died in her father's arms on the street. I think of the older woman visiting her sick husband in the ICU of MCG, here in Augusta, and then being attacked in the bathroom and beaten so badly that she herself was in critical condition in the hospital. Then there's the owner of a meager little Chinese restaurant a few blocks from my house, who was shot in the head one night during a robbery...by some teenagers. His wife and two children had no idea that would be the last they saw him. Some of these events are human's fault, but some of these are not. What is the point of death when it involves a baby, a son , a daughter, a grandmother, a father? I am angry at death today, really angry.
It is the reason I check on my Addison a couple of times before I go to sleep every single night. I am scared that something will happen to her as well. I have always feared it for her - maybe because she was such a miracle in the first place - maybe because I fear the unknown. Our children, our families, our spouses are so important and precious to us. It is not right that they are stolen away so early. Today I am beside myself with grief for all the people who must make it through life having gone through this and I carry a heart full of anger that I have no place to lay.