4:30 a.m.

Why do televangelists always look so shady? This early in the morning, they are so much more comforting than the 20 other channels of Insanity Workout, Total Gym and Fluidity. If you're not into workouts in your sleep-deprived state, how about updating your kitchen collection with the Ninja blender, Keurig or the New Wave oven. There are some semi-relevant infomercials for this time of the day like Triverex, but I'm still amused that the set-up looks like a valid news programs. Not the best fit, in my opinion, for a male enhancement pill. I personally think I'm going to get the Tummy Tuck Belt! I mean, a big rubber band that magically burns your fat off....and it only takes 10 minutes a day? Jeez! Why isn't this in my closet already?!
I caught myself staring in pain at the screen when I came across a show featuring people that I'm sure are from Georgia...sadly, as they tried to make money off of catfish in a mud bog. At least I think that's what they were talking about. Drunken southerners are hard to understand. I don't even know how Animal Planet found these people. I know they exist. I've seen them. But how they made it on national television is so beyond me that I cannot fathom the TV executive that actually approved spending the money. With a cast that makes Honey Boo Boo's family look like royalty, I am at a complete and total loss.
With points notably taken from my IQ, I continue my search for something that will soothe me. Proactive, Meaningful Beauty and My Pillow aren't doing it either.
I settle on something entertaining and animated. Phineas and Ferb. This show has more clever wit than anything else in the 100 channels I've surfed through TWICE in the last hour. It's humor is sometimes brilliant and way over my 3-year-old's head...although she loves it too. Thank God someone made a show that everyone can enjoy. I'm done with TV...on to the web. Good Morning.