Another Chapter, Another Wild Ride

Where to start....

November has flown by. With good reason. Michael and I, after much deliberation and negotiation, decided to try one more IVF cycle. We started in November. Not much had changed in the 6 years since I tried with Addison. Since we used up all our frozen embryos on our last attempt, we had to start at the beginning....shots and all.
It wasn't all that bad and the effects were expected at least so we were a little more prepared for the emotional roller coaster that ensued. I think back fondly of my first entries of my blog, originally drafted as therapy as I went through my first IVF cycle.
This time I decided to keep it hush hush in case it didn't work. I realized that so many people were riding the coaster with me and it really was just unneccessary to take them along on the same sort of journey just in case it didn't work. And....I was more prepared to handle it all much better this time.
Dr. Servy has become a personal friend over the years and was excited to get another opportunity to help us once more. Several of the nurses were still there and going to see them each visit was like coming home to family. He reassured me that this time I wouldn't be as sick because he knew how much medecine would overstimulate me and so he had a baseline to go by.
He was right. It was tolerable and there was no hospital visit the weekend after the retrieval. I still produced a whopping 17 eggs. I am a good egg maker.
After fertilization, 13 were viable: 7 were in excellent shape and 6 were in good shape. Everything went so smoothly and I was compliments on exactly how beautifully perfect my embryos were.
Honestly, it scared me. I had some sort of superstitious belief that it wouldn't work unless it was hard..very hard.
This was going so smoothly.
I still managed to keep the process a secret from everyone except Addison's Pre-K class. I did not shield her from the process and every day, she would go to school and update the class on mommy "trying to get a baby." Apparently they prayed for me daily.
Addison prayed too, for a sister. She was adament that she did not want a boy. I told her if she wanted a sister, she needed to talk to God. Each conversation I secretly wished and hoped that I would not have to disappoint her with no baby.
In my heart, it all just felt right. The timing, the process, the desire, the hope..it was all there and everything was seeming to go so well. I believed deep down this would work.
Our transfer was November 20th. On December 2nd, I tested positive.
We are now 5 weeks and 5 days along and every person, stranger or not, knows that I have a baby in my tummy thanks to Addison.
Michael is in awe that I am once again carrying his child. Addison is elated and talks incessantly about "the baby". I am cautious of course because it's so early. But the idea is slowly growing on me. It will be more realistic once we have the first sonogram. I really need that visual. Although, I have been so incredibly tired that its hard to function. Then there's the nausea anytime I'm the slightest bit hungry. This mustard seed sized little bit inside me is totally taking over.
It's been 6 years. I've forgotten so much. And I'm excited.

 

Turning 5 is awesome

 The birth of Rainbow Dash

 Absolutely love this cupcake face.

To recap her day. Woke up to mommy and daddy singing Happy Birthday. Wore a crown all day at school. Went to Build-A-Bear with Kate curly and Margaret Vernon and made her first stuffed animal...Rainbow Dash, complete with tennis shoes, cape and roller skates. Had a big birthday cookie at the mall and finished the afternoon playing at home with her best friends. Dinner was Mexican so she could have one of her favorites..."Cheese Chips" and it was topped off with cupcakes. She also got a big girl bike with training wheels. I don't think it could possibly have been a better day.

Halloween 2013

 Our First Carved Pumpkin

 Addison did the teeth.

 Hello Nurse.

 The witch...our newest decoration. She's a hoot really. Talks, moves, has a smoking cauldron.

 The cutest cowgirl ever.

Our Newest Family Member - Dakota

 

We are FIVE

Tonight I was beautiful. Or so I was told.
I was cleaning up my daughter's room. Trashed from a day of birthday fun, I needed to get it back in working order. Three little girls are equivalent to a small hurricane.
As I sat in the floor sorting out tiny little figurines of disney princesses and small Barbie shoes that certainly were developed by evil people who never actually had kids or at least never stepped on one of those small torturous pieces of plastic in the dark, I was told that I was about to be pretty.
I need to be pretty. Age and ailments make me feel ancient most days.
She tenderly began to put hairbow after hairbow into my hair. All colors and sizes. All types. Then she stood back and told me, "Mommy, you are beautiful."
That's my heart. She's still walking around outside my body. She has a bit more of an attitude these days. She has her own thoughts and opinions. But she is always my heart and its moments like these that keep that attachment strong.
Turning five is a big deal. She has asked me every single day during September...sometimes twice a day..."Is is my birthday yet?"
This year was a little more low key. We took two friends to Build-a-Bear and built "Rainbow Dash" then had dinner with the grandparents.
Our stuffed animal came complete with tennis shoes, a cape and roller skates thanks to the beautifully decorated examples beside the door to entice young children to whine until they get all the accessories this loaded up pony had. Brilliant really. They even had a least so that you can pull your pony on her roller skates behind you. Yes, of course we have to have that too.
But despite the hit to my wallet (which I was prepared for) and the exhaustion that has ensued from trying to herd chickens....I mean children, it was a magnificent day. Nothing can replace that gasp of surprise when she walked into the living room to find a new big girl bike with balloons attached to it.
Now, I need sleep. But first, pictures.

 Our First Carved Pumpkin

 She's practicing to be a dentist. Her first patient, the overcrowded mouth of Jack.

Daisy

We lost our sweet Daisy this month. She was a loyal dog. Not all of them are. She merely wanted to be with us. I'm still not sure what took her. She was healthy until suddenly ill. Only three years old in human terms. Still very young in dog years.
To be the constant object of my daughter's affection must have been a sometimes tough, but rewarding job. We always knew that of the three of us, Daisy ranked first.
We will miss your sweet nature, you're constant love and the fact that you would not leave our side. See you in heaven. And as I keep telling Addison concerning you; keep on watching God make rain and make sure he walks you on your leash and most of all, feel no pain.

August

Well, it's been a rough month. Besides normal stresses, I was admitted to the hospital for 7 days. That was hard on a certain 4 year old. It was probably hard on a certain daddy too, but I was the one getting probed and prodded for a week.
My sweetheart started 4 Pre-K and has all of a sudden become this little comedian. Last night we were sitting together in my chair. She was apparently chewing her thumb nail  and out of the blue asks me...hey, wanna bite?
She has an uncanny ability to catch me unaware and send me right into a laughing fit.