Sunday, March 29, 2015

I am not that girl

Occasionally my husband asks me to "go out" with him.  This usually involves a dark club with dim lighting,  fake smoke,  a line to the bathroom that could circle the planet and music so loud that you can't hear the person talking to you 2 inches from your face.
I would love to think that I could throw all inhibitions  aside and be that person who dances like no one is watching.. Who was the life of the party. 
But I'm not that girl.
I'm not the booty-short wearing,  sequin dawning,  high-heeled wearing person who likes to dance.. period.. much less with strange people all up around her.
My moves are more accidental than skill.  I stumble in conversations from first,  lack of hearing,  and second from lack of interest.  I mean what can we really get into during our screaming match dialogue. 
I understand that this scene might be better suited to someone who lived this life in their youth... But I didn't.  I had never darkened the door of a club until I was married
I do not understand the attraction of a woman who is wearing a dress that barely covers her crotch unless she is indeed looking to sell said crotch. 
But that's just me.  I'm not that girl. 
I show up in my knee-length dress and boots, my string of pearls  around my neck. I am too old for this place although I see many other patrons much older than I. 
I'm pretty sure my husband sees it all as me being prudish or refusing to relax. That of course is entirely true.  Although not something that I can greatly control. 
I simply am not that girl.. And I never will be.

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