The most wonderful time of the year

I wish there were enough time in the day to blog about all the musings I have.  I don't have any less ideas.. Just less time.  Time has been my literal enemy this year.  It's going to be Christmas soon.  When did that happen? The boys are running now and saying new words like Uh oh (alex).  It's all happening way too fast.  I cannot keep up.  I feel like I've been in a race since thanksgiving.  When is too early to decorate? Do I have energy to decorate? Do I have enough power cords to even decorate!? Sigh.  It's important to me to try and give my kids life experiences that they will remember and remember fondly.  I want their lives to be filled with stories that start with,  "remember that time,  Mom.....". I've come to the realization that my kids will never have a favorite dish. I simply do not cook.  How could they?  But I will take my daughter to pick out her first live Christmas tree.  (and mine!) I will teach her the right way to screw in a screw with a drill and I will teach her that she needs to wait on no man for anything as we build mommy's new bed.  I will attempt to bake cookies.. Or at least spoon them well onto the pan with her to teach her about the importance of size and space.  I want her to remember laughing at me when I did something silly on accident.  I am stretched thin.  But I want to give them great memories of how much I loved them.  So I muster up enough gumption to sing Christmas songs on the hayride through the Christmas lights because I've never seen my daughter so involved in a song before tonight.  And we eat a smore.. Calories and all because she's never actually had one.  It will also mean that even though she has been a rotten stinker to her brothers for a good part of the year,  I will make sure Santa brings her the dollhouse with an elevator that she asked for  just to keep the magic alive a little bit longer .  Because once the magic is gone... You can never get it back.  I live to make the moments of my child's life special.  Even through the attitudes and obstinacy.  One day I will rest and put away my fairy dust.  The elf will no longer visit and the stocking will hold things like gift cards instead of toys.  But I'm not really looking forward to that day.  Actually it makes me very sad,  for I am reliving my magic through them...even though it has long since disappeared.  Through their tiny eyes and excited giggles I get to be 5 all over again. 

I hate shopping

There is a woman who helps me keep my sanity. She is the only reason I have clean clothes. She is the reason my shoes don't stick to the floor. She's my cleaning lady. She's also my babysitter and assistant homework engineer. She's been known to organize my pantry and my cleaning closet. Most times, I don't like to admit that I have her around. That is a hard thing for superwoman to do...but I guess every superhero needs an Albert, right Batman?
The thing about Alberts is that they get up close and personal. They wash your underwear for crying out loud. Today, she told me about something I didn't really realize...my closet.
Granted I've got all sizes in there from the awkwardly obese to the sexy stuff I fit in for one day back in 2003. I mean, I have to keep the range of clothes or I'd be walking around naked at least half my life, depending on what season of life I'm entertaining. But here's what she said; " I know that you're a good mom because your kids all have nice things, your husband has the best clothes, but you...you could stand to toss some of your things because they've been there a while. You can tell you sacrifice for your family."
Well.
I'd never thought of that before. I do know that I will spend money on anybody else in my family 10x faster than I will myself. It helps that shopping to me is one of the most laborious tasks on the planet. Most days, I'd rather cut myself than go. It also helps that because of my varying shapes and sizes, I hate to invest too much in something I may never get to wear again for several years. I'm also coming off of the "I haven't bought new clothes in 2 years because I was as big as a house pregnant with twins and then not pregnant with twins...which looked even worse," time in my life.
Part of me is a little sad for myself as I look down at my pink shirt with little pill balls all over it topped with a moth hole somewhere around my equator. My pants are slightly too short and might have passed as crop pants in the summer with sandals, but right now, just look like I'm waiting for the waters to recede. I should mention that I'm missing a button also, but I couldn't wear my other brown pants because they are held up by a safety pin where the zipper broke. Luckily they are loose enough I don't have to unzip them to undress. Wow. How sad am I? My housekeeper is right though...my wardrobe is a pitiful place.
Is this sadness the product of me being a good mom? I don't know. What I do know is that I will spend more money on a sushi dinner than on a pair of shoes. I have a price cap of $27.00 for jeans, $23.00 for a shirt and happy dress price is $40.00. What century am I in? I promise, if I could make clothing for cheaper, I would.
So, in that sense, I dress badly because I'm just a plain cheapskate.
Whatever the reason, I think superwoman is going to have to come up with some wardrobe changes.

Seven and sassy

We celebrated our girl turning seven with some Mexican food and a day at the fair.  Funtimes!

These boyz

15 months old
Will is walking
Alex is running
Will knows how to hug your neck.
Alex can go get his own shoes and socks. Will and Alex can both climb the stairs fast.... When you're not looking. 

Mystery Incorporated

We won the costume competition for the second year in a row at the Club.
We did well as "those meddling kids"  I think.  I love costumes. 

A year in the life

I realized something lately.  My daughter has grown.  Yes,  I know she is going to grow but I haven't kept up.  I will listen to her talk or watch her walk across the room and think to myself,  "who is that?" I am sad about that fact but today I had the revelation as to why.  I have been so wrapped up in surviving the boys for the past year,  I think I missed the evolution of my other baby into a girl.  It didn't help that time the boys were born she started real school.  Our days that used to be filled with mommy/daughter time were suddenly skimpy moments; a little in the morning,  a little in the afternoon,  and maybe a spot right before bed. To have my attention divided from one to three was probably devastating for her.  It's apparent in the acting out that she has done.  I have not handled it well either.  I've snapped when I shouldn't.  I've yelled way too loud.  I've spanked before talking.  I have been too stretched to always be the best mom to her. 
And today I looked across the room to see a girl where my baby used to be.. With opinions and beliefs and a will that just won't quit.. And I feel like I don't know her like I once did. This makes me sad.

My whole world

How blessed am I? These kids are my world.  I am so thankful to be their mom.
Addison turns 7 this month.  A fact she has been letting me know since the day after she turned 6.
Alex is so smart.  He really does understand and respond to most anything I say. Will is just sweetness incarnate.  He has learned to give hugs.  I am literally in heaven.  I wish I could freeze their innocence for a bit.. Their absolute love for me.  Addison is like talking to a grown woman sometimes.  She can amaze and anger me in the same split second.  A talent the child who is most like you has.  If I could only convey the fullness of my heart at this very minute....you wouldn't even be able to stand it.