Christmas. I've been looking forward to this Christmas since last year. I knew that in 2010, Addison would be old enough to actually enjoy some of the festivities and decorations and of course, the presents. However,I'm afraid I have the ho-hums this year. Christmas is being overshadowed by things like the fact that my husband and I can't seem to put up decorations amicably. There must be something in the recipe for decorating and renovating , etc. that is a direct offense to a perfectly good marriage. After two weekends' attempts, we ended the process with a nearly lit tree and a yard half-way complete.
Then there's the fact that I've thought on about 20 different occasions that I really need to wrap presents. I don't even know who I have left to buy for at this point.
And of course,there's all that holiday food. I've declared broccoli casserole as "my dish" this holiday season, so if I'm coming to your house..that's what I'm bringing. I should be very well versed in the BC by the time Christmas day arrives.
In an attempt to reconcile the ho-hums, I've tried scheduling family activities like a breakfast with Santa on Saturday. It's lame for the adults, I know, but that's not the point. It's supposed to provide family time. Besides, I want to see my child scream in terror as I try and hand her over to a fat, white-haired stranger for 3 seconds to attempt a photo. Why do we do this to ourselves?
Normally, I love Christmas. But there's no singing in a choir this year. There's no repeat for the 100th time of some fluffed up teen playing the role of pregnant Mary. There's no "Christmas in Dixie" light display that was free for anyone who wanted to enjoy. There's no magical Christmas morning to look forward to anymore. Christmas was so much fun when we were young. I guess I'm just grieving my loss.
Or maybe I'm just grown. How incredibly sucky it is to be grown sometimes.
I'm still clinging to a hope that having my family all around on Christmas morning will be a grand time. I will listen to Christmas songs constantly until FM 104.3 stops playing them and I will eventually finish my Christmas shopping...before Christmas Eve. I WILL be overly excited about every present my child opens and I'll start traditions of leaving cookies for Santa and food for the reindeer in hopes that my little one finds the magic of Christmas that I used to love. She deserves my efforts even if the ho-hums are smothering me.
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