Two...and a half

What a marvelous age this is! My favorite words right now are "piwhoa" for pillow and "under", or thunder as us grown-ups like to call it. She likes to say, "under, wheew det me. I stared!"  Translated: Thunder, will get me. I'm scared!.  Which she says a lot with the flurry of thunderstorms lately. She is a regular little parrot, mocking our phrases and repeating our words. Luckily, we haven't slipped and said anything "bad". The worst was tonight at dinner when Addison rang out in the din of dishes and conversation.."pootyhead!".  I laughed a lot...which is not so conducive to getting her to stop. But she's funny and I can't help it. The fits of throwing herself on the floor are getting better. I think it's because we understand her now and can carry on a conversation. She can tell us all about what she did that day and what she wants us to do. It's rather wonderful being able to communicate with your child.
At 2 1/2, she weighs in at 35lbs. She's still an amazonian child always being mistaken for older. I can't for the life of me get her to eat vegetables, so we thrive on fruits to be our healthy foods. Nor can I get her to go to the potty. I've tried it all. She's just not ready.

But, I'm OK with that, because diapers are still a sign to me that she's my baby. I'd like to keep her that way as long as I can.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Deliberating on the choices you made. Finding out what did lie in store as opposed to imagining what could have been in store. It will drive you mad. It may make you sad. You may feel satisfaction or regret. It basically boils down to...you are where you are, period. It is at that point where you have to go with what you got. There are no redos in life. Would we ever get it "right" even if there were? Or would we stand on the road we chose and long for another path even still?

The Great McGillicuddy Wall

We have spent a lot of time, money and...money on this retaining wall. So it only seems right to document it. Behold the Great McGillicuddy Wall!

Church Shopping

Have you ever shopped for a church? For a very long time I was on the church end of that transaction. I was the Sunday School teacher, the youth leader, the choir member and the bible study teacher. For me there was always a feeling of being on trial whenever a new person entered the church doors. Make them feel welcome, go out of your way, invite them to join an activity, etc. Maybe that's the problem now when I'm on the opposite end as the shopper. I wonder if these people are as friendly and nice and inclusive as they portray.
We (Michael and I) came from and met at the BIG Baptist Church on the hill where you are only known to be there if you have a smaller Sunday School class that you attend. And even then, the classes are so large, you can hide there just as well as in the massive Sanctuary. The options there are endless. There's traditional worship, contemporary worship, rock-n-roll worship, early worship, late worship and childcare provided so you could possibly drop your child off at 8 a.m. and not come back till 12:30p.m. It's all very eventful and busy. But if you're like us, and you can't find your class, or your niche or your place where you belong. It all sort of feels like cattle being herded through hallways - in one forum, on to the next.
So we shop. For Churches. Seems almost sacrilegious.
We've been to a Presbyterian church - very formal and very Scottish. I thought it interesting that there were that many people available in Augusta, GA to support a Scottish-based sect. Besides the hats that they wore for Easter, the whole thing was particularly boring. I fought sleep the entire time....and the benches were horrible on the back.
We've been to Methodist churches - two so far. They were both small and cozy, not unlike the church I grew up in. Unfortunately, they lack the diversity. Poor Addison was the only child her age at both churches. I do not want to sentence my child to a church life of boredom and adults. What kind of picture of God would that create for her? And I had to chuckle to myself at all the silver hairs that laid claim to their church. You got the feeling, and rightly so, that they own that place. They probably are the sole reason it still functions - through their financial support.
We are not picky about which division of protestant we are...we just want a community to belong to...that all of our family can belong to.
So we journey on. Next on the list is another BIG Baptist Church. I almost feel like a beggar asking all my friends, where do you go to church? But that's what you want at church right? You want to be amongst friends. Wish us luck.

Easter Egg Hunt

  

 My future singer.

Click

It's as if you've taken a picture. For a brief second - a flash of light, and you have captured the essence of a moment. Today I passed a woman sitting at a red light. Her face was tensed and worried. She stared into nothing, into something as she waited. It's a perk of driving. No one will see you for long and if they do, well, they can't catch you..except for a moment.
Sometimes that brief picture is funny. Did you really catch that woman picking her nose?
Sometimes it's anger. A look, a snarling lip, a hateful gesture.
Sometimes it's pain. I've shed many a tear while alone, driving in the car and I've caught a few others in the act as well. That one is hard to witness because the essence of that moment effects you, evokes sympathy and strokes the imagination as you wonder why that person is in pain.
There are plenty of happy scenes: my favorite is a singing motorist. It is a complete picture of someone living a moment unburdened, smile on their face, lyrics tripping over their tongue as they rock it out as if they were on a stage for thousands. Oh just a peak, a glimpse into the chasm of human emotion..especially when they think they're alone.

Another day in the life

Let me recap the end of March/beginning of April for you.
Passed Broker's test after 2 1/2 months of night and weekend classes.
Have frozen embryos transferred.
Dad has hernia surgery #1.
Dad has 2nd surgery to remove hematoma caused by surgery #1.
Mom falls and breaks foot in 3 places day before dad comes home.
Both parents, same hospital, different floors.
Mom has surgery for broken foot.
Dad goes home from hospital with a drain.
Mom goes home from hospital.
Tax spreadsheets are due at the tax man. (This is a huge ordeal for me every year...ask my tax man.)
Find out that pregnancy test is negative.
Dad is readmitted to hospital and has 3rd surgery in 3 weeks. He's given a drain and a vacuum pump and no sutures or staples, just a big elastic band to hold together the hole in his belly.
Big storm hits. Retaining wall at Hickman Road washes away.
Big storm hits again. Tree falls and destroys one side of a 3 bedroom duplex.
Firetruck today, ambulance too at one of my properties. When I investigate why, I get to see the paramedics feverishly trying to save a dying girl. A terrible sight, her lifeless and blue with people pushing on her chest harder than I ever imagined.
Michael falls through a ceiling.
I go to pick up dad's prescription from the pharmacy and they've lost 4 scripts. I wait for 2 hours, on a Friday night.

I will write a book one day on all of my "adventures". This month in my life will take up a chapter or two, but I have enough material already for volumes. But tomorrow - tomorrow I would like for nothing to happen. I want to sit in my room and stare at a wall and think about nothing and answer no calls and run to no emergencies. Tomorrow, I want something fun to happen and I want to laugh out loud...for an hour. Tomorrow, I'd like to get off this boat I've been riding and stand on dry, stable land for the the first time in nearly 5 weeks.