Callie

This girl! I found an ad on Rescueme.org. It read, "she's a very intelligent dog who understands every word you say."

That with the cutest pic of what looked like a golden retriever.... Was all I needed. We met and took her home the next day. To say she is the most loving, gentle, docile, well-tempered dog.. Is an understatement. She sleeps a lot... Like a cat! She follows me everywhere like my shadow and whines for me when I leave. But she hasn't barked once. She is  soft and beautiful and such a fortunate find. Born February 4th 2019. I put this here so I'll remember the date. I hope. We have an extra long life with you my dear Callie. I believe God led us to her. I really do. 

I'm no teacher

Where to start? We went into quarantine after the world shut down and they told me I have to be a teacher. At the end of the first day... I cried my eyes out. I then hired help. Since then things have gotten smoother. The teachers have gotten used to distance learning as have the kids and I. This week they told us they would cut the year short ending it on May 8th. I didn't know you could do that. We have been to school. So few days in retrospect. We were out earlier in the year because of hurricanes which drove the victims to our schools for shelter and closed down schools for a week. And now..

We just stop. 

I think it's a surrender.. Waiving the white flag. There are so many that don't have the time to teach the kids. They work to... They don't have money to hire help. So many kids have already been out of school. I do know that I will never again forgo a teacher's Christmas present. Those people deserve everything they make and then some. What a hard job. And why you would choose to home school?! Beyond my comprehension.

On the flip side, we have time. Time was becoming this elusive things that we never had enough of. Between school. And sports and clubs and church. Time was sparse. But now we have it. Forced time together. We've learned Rummy. We have famy movie nights. We take walks. We make fires. Lots of wonderful child chatter happens around a fire... When the TV is off and their little minds get to spinning. Lots of teaching mome ts about why fire burns and consumes and needs oxygen or why the marshmlow grows 5 times its size when it gets burned. We talk about stars and planets... About why it's night and where the sun goes. There are group hunts for the perfect roasting stick a d independence when one takes the flashlight out into the dark to search for one alone. There are games of swinging in the night and talks of future camp outs. Eventually Alex will tell me I'm the best fire builder ever! And each kid will practice their manners on their own as they agree with him and thank me for buying marshmallows and making a fire. Lots of time well spent is what this virus has provided this family. I miss shopping and eating out but we carry out a lot. So many meals at home I've lost count. But also lots of cookies baked together and chores being learned. Useful skills like how to clean the kitchen are taught or clothes washing 101. It's been a good thing for our family. I feel closer to my husband and not alone in this parenting thing. That's nice.

As much as I love and miss TJ Maxx, I've learned how little we actually need and I've enjoyed getting to know my family again. 

The Walk

Know where useful chatter happens with kids? On walks. We've been going on walks through neighborhoods in our campaign t-shirts because there's not much else to do as far as campaigning. I usually lag behind with the littles. William asks me if I have Jesus in my heart. I SAY YES. Alex makes his way over to listen to our conversation. William says.. Mommy how do you get Jesus into your heart. I say.. You have to believe that he's the one true God who died on the cross to take away your sins because it was a price too big for you to pay., And then you have to simply ask him to come into your heart and be the leader of your life. I tried to simplify because I'm talking to little people and my big church words won't make sense. He says ok but what do you SAY to God? I said you just pray like you're talking to him.. Just like you talk to me... You say dear God... And little William repeated dear God. Then I said, I want to make you the most important person in my life.... And he repeated every word just seconds behind me. And I want to ask If you'll come into my heart and live in me. And he finished right behind me... Amen. Little Alex sidles up to us and says, I just say God will you come into my heart... That's all I say mom. I said.. Well if you're sincere then that's all you need to say. And we kept on walking and talking. Was it their salvation moment?  I don't know. They are small. Was I five when I got saved? Yes.. According to mom. But I didn't grasp it until college. I didn't feel God until then. But I lived a very good and obedient life until college because of my salvation at five. Who knows?Only God but how special was that Walk?

The day the world stopped

Covid-19 is what some call it. Others use Coronavirus. It's apparently a nasty little bugger that is 10x worse than the flu. It came to the U.S. Why wouldn't it? We are the epicenter of the world. It was bound to happen. China is closed. The virus apparently started there. Italy is closed. France and Spain have enacted restrictions as well. As of today, America is pretty much closed as well. Disney World/Land both closed until April. State Universities closed until April as well and just yesterday, our own school system - closed until further notice. Do I think my kids and I could hang with this virus and beat it? Sure do. But do I want to pass it on to my mother and father who would surely die from it. NOPE. And so for the first time since World War II, even the Masters Golf tournament has been delayed. I never thought I'd see the day. There's a weird ominous feeling hovering around right now. We are being given work to take home for our children to do and "distance learning" is being put in place. In addition to working and campaigning, I now have to be a teacher. The boys don't understand. They say they want to see their friends. I'm not sure if I understand either since no one I know has had the virus. Alas, we rely on this government to be the seers of the big pictures. They are the ones with allllll the information. They are doing what they think is best. I like to follow rules so when I'm told, don't have gatherings of 50 or more people. When my CHURCH closes for fear of spreading germs. I'm slightly scared. If I go to a restaurant, will I be looked on as a rule-breaker? If I run to the store, will there even be food there for me to buy. Apparently hoarding has become a big problem. People everywhere are preparing for the worst...as if they cannot leave their houses for a month. Should I be doing that? Will it come to that? This invisible virus that I haven't even seen the effects of....will it come here? Maybe its already here and the higher ups know that..and I don't. I feel like I'm in a strange land. We've never been here before. I imagine this displaced feeling may be what war torn countries feel when one day you're running and playing outside, eating dinner with your family and the next, you are wondering if you should even go outside. It's fear. It's the unknown. It's the fact that we are so pampered here and that living in our great country has been so comfortable that generations have had it pretty good with little worries. I think about the women who just last year were strutting around in vagina costumes to demonstrate women's rights and how silly that seems when you're fighting your neighbor for the last roll of toilet paper on the shelf. My friend is the manager at Aldi and she said that this weekend they met their monthly goal in 3 days.....3 DAYS!
There are no vacationers really. No cruising for sure...that's all been cancelled as well until next month. Life will start again in April. Or so they say. Will it? Until further notice is what the schools say. I say - God's got this. He is the comforter in all situations including this one...with God as my Savior...whom shall I fear?
We will roll with these weird touch-less punches. We will not hug or kiss our friends when we greet. We will try not to pick our noses or touch our face; chew our fingernails and most of all we will wash our hands religiously. Well, better than that. Face it, Americans don't put much importance on religions do they?
April is coming and with it, freedom to be.....free. Free to do , to travel, to plan, to look forward to.
Until then I will pause more and keep holding my breath. Then breath a little. Then sigh when its all done.

behind the scenes

You want to know where the magic happens? Not in front of the audience.. Behind the scenes. You want to know where a campaign happens? Same place. If you ever want to be completely depleted of all energy and time and resources... Run for an office.. any office. If you put anything into what a campaign requires, you will find yourself completely drained. But not only you.. Your entire family. Last week the kids didn't lay eyes on their dad until Thursday night. Dinner? What is dinner? We have meals in the car. We have meals in restaurants.. Kinda. We have cereal for dinner and frozen chicken nuggets 3x a week. Is that dinner? It has to be. We want our kids ro be well rounded so we sign them up for karate. But who has time to take them? If the person is really running for office all those responsibilities are deferred to the spouse. If the campaign manager quits then the event planning falls to the spouse. If the printers aren't getting your vibes for material like you want... It falls to your spouse to fix it. Then add in sick children with fevers. Homework. Projects. Speeches. Items that start with the freaking letter K. It All falls to the spouse. The spouse barely has time to grab lunch most days. She has to rely on hired help to keep the house going... The laundry clean... The dishes from piling up. But wait.... The campaign website needs pictures and maps and updates. And guess who is the only person who can properly do that... The spouse. You think running for a position that pays $16000  year is Sacrifice? YOU have no idea the sacrifice that goes into the entire process until you've lived it.

I'd stay and chat but someone just puked and mom has to clean it up. I'd love to elaborate but someone needs to dress like a man for a school presentation. Isn't it good that I got this. All of this. 

RIP Dakota

To the man who hit my dog tonight.. It wasn't your fault. You're a complete ass hole because you didn't take the time to stop to even check on us... But it wasn't your fault. To the person who patiently stopped with their headlights on us while I wept and Michael moved the dog out of the street... Thank you for a moment of humanity and grace. You were probably heading home from work. To the lady I heard yelling at the daycare across the street..i know I was loud... I know my 5 year old son was bellowing a blood curdling scream, but we were all struck with horror and in an instant we had no control over our reactions. I hope we didn't scare the children. And to my other son who Dakota ran past as he opened the door.... Its not your fault that our headstrong dog had a primal need to run away today. After 8 years of having him he was finally the dog we always wanted. He was calm and obedient (except for today) . He talked to me in his own little way. In the past few weeks he was becoming an office dog and eagerly looked forward to that car ride to the office a block away. What made you run? Why wouldn't you listen? I screamed for you to stop. I saw the hit and I saw you roll under the truck tire. I knew as I saw you writhing for the few final seconds of your life that there was no coming back from this. I'm sorry that I didn't train you better... I'm sorry I didn't run faster. I'm sorry you're gone. You were a really really great dog and my heart is broken. 

William FINALLY lost his first tooth!